


Put a Tie on the Doorknob, Won't You?

by kingofthelab



Category: Silicon Valley (TV)
Genre: F/M, Getting Together, M/M, Mutual Pining, episode 3.06, mentioned Jared/Carol, mentioned Richard/Winnie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-02
Updated: 2016-06-04
Packaged: 2018-07-11 17:58:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7064056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kingofthelab/pseuds/kingofthelab
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Endgame Jared/Richard and (mostly) mutual pining.  Takes place during and after episode 3.06.  The first chapter is from Jared's POV, the second is from Richard's, and the third shifts back and forth.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Jared

“Uh, I actually, uh, I met a girl.” 

As the words leave Richard’s mouth, Jared feels his chest tighten, and the smile drop from his face. His brain goes fuzzy, and he’s not sure what the others are saying. _Stupid,_ he tells himself, as he forces himself to stop gazing at Richard, and focus on Gilfoye’s teasing instead. This is Richard’s big moment - he’s got everything he deserves: a crisis averted, his title as CEO, and now, a girl. It isn’t fair for Jared to let some stupid feeling like jealousy affect the celebration. So Jared forces his brain back into the conversation, and a smile onto his face.

“Check you out, Mr. Casanova!” He can’t decide which hurts more: his own joyous voice, or way that Richard barely registers that he’s speaking.

\---

 _Why did you think this was such a good idea?_ Jared can’t quite figure out why he’s stood up - why he’s trying to connect with Winnie. It feels less like he’s being friendly, and more like he’s trying to prove something. No, not like he’s trying to prove _something_ , but like he’s trying to prove that he’s Totally Cool Jared! or that he’s Supportive Jared! who has only platonic feelings for his boss.

But Winnie spending the night hurts Jared more than he expected it to, and he has to do something besides sit and listen to them talk. Jared tries to reason with himself that he always knew that Richard would never return his feelings - Bachman told him that Richard swore under oath that he was straight. Still, Jared hadn’t realized how much he’d been holding out the hope that Richard had been lying to himself. That Richard was starting to look at Jared the same way Jared looked at him.

But Jared had been stupid. He took little signs, insignificant indicators as proof. He convinced himself that Richard being chaste for three years had to partially be because he was sexually confusion. That his passiveness about Monica’s passes proved that there was a chance for them. And after Richard had been ousted as CEO, him and Jared had been moving ever closer. They spent so much time together, and not only just for work anymore. Every now and then, Jared had thought…well, it doesn’t really matter now what Jared had thought.

He waits until Richard is out of the room before suggesting that he start dating again. He tells Dinesh and Gilfoyle that he hasn’t been seeing anyone as a commitment to Pied Piper. He tells himself the same thing. He tells himself that he’s allowing himself a reward, that it is not, in any way, a rebound to a relationship that had never existed. 

It feels nice, even if it is a lie.

\---

He has to admit, it feels even nicer having sex again - even if Carol isn’t Richard. In fact, it’s nice mostly _because_ Carol isn’t Richard. He pushes aside the similarities - their shyness, their small frames, their thick brown hair, and instead focused on their differences. Her curves, her eyes, her strong, sure hands, pushing and pulling him where she wants him to go. He drowns himself in it.

As he leads her out, he doesn’t look at the other guys, instead focusing solely on Carol. He isn’t sure he’ll be able to keep his cool if he looks at Richard now.

When Dinesh tentatively asks “Jared?” He waits as long as possible before he looks up. While he sees the shock on Richard’s face from the corner of his eye, he refuses to look straight at him.

But he can’t avoid it when Richard asks “So, uh, Jared, did you just have sex with her?”

He notices how Richard looks away, how he looks at the ground, how he looks anywhere but at Jared. He notices the slight lilt of anger and jealousy mixed in with the incredulity in his voice. He has to remind himself that Richard is jealous simply because Jared just had sex, and not because he wanted to be the one having sex with Jared.

He shouldn’t note that Dinesh, who has also had bad luck with the ladies, shows none of the same signs of jealousy - only sock at Jared’s success. He shouldn't catalog the differences in Richard and Dinesh's behaviors - to examine and torture himself over later.

It’s a short, tense moment, staring at Richard. Then he shrugs, smiles, and asks, as friendly as possible, “What?”

\---

He has a lot more sex after that. It’s the only way to keep his mind off Richard. He convinces most of his companions to go to their places’ instead of his - so as to avoid any more awkward run-ins with Richard. Especially if it’s a guy. He’ll bring a woman back to the garage if he has to, but never a man. He can’t imagine the look on Richard’s face if he saw that Jared was sleeping with men. He’s not sure which he’s more afraid of: a look of shock, or Richard showing no emotion at all.

During Bachman’s insane party, Jared is very careful to flirt only with women. He can’t help but feel like Richard is watching him the entire time, tracing his every move. It’s not until right before Bachman’s speech, when they all start to form together, that he dares look back at Richard. And while he isn’t surprised to see Richard looking at him, the intensity at which he’s doing so stops him in his tracks.

And after the surprisingly disaster-free speech, as Jared is seeking out a glass of water, it feels like his whole world falls apart when Richard wraps his arms around him from behind, and slurs “Please Jared, take me home.”


	2. Richard

“Please Jared, take me home.” Richard wraps his arms around Jared from behind, and skims his fingers along the bottom of his shirt.

It’s not that he wants to have sex with Jared. No, not at all. It’s just that he always thought _Jared_ wanted to sex with _him._ Richard knows it’s mean, knows it’s stupid, but he relies on the knowledge that, no matter how much he screws up, no matter how many people think he’s worthless, Jared will still want him. It’s been what Richard leans on. A way to know that _he is something to be valued_. His one constant since Pied Piper started. At least, he thought it was.

But after Richard started his thing with Winnie, Jared started a thing with what feels like pretty much any girl he could find. Richard has no right to be jealous, especially since he was the one who brought Winnie home first. He knows it isn’t fair to expect Jared to stay single so that Richard can feel secure in himself. But knowing this and actually controlling his emotions are two separate things. And ever since Jared started bringing women home, Richard’s had all this anxious energy building inside him. And he needs it to stop. He needs Jared’s attention back on him. He needs…he doesn’t know what he needs.

Plus, Richard is drunk. Really drunk. After breaking up with Winnie, and still in the middle of his three year slump, Richard felt he had a lot to drink about.

Richard slides his fingers under Jared’s shirt, and presses his thumb into Jared’s hip. He hears a little gasp escape Jared.

“Richard?” Jared asks.

Richard holds on to Jared a little tighter. “Please Jared. You, uh, you heard what I said.” He clears his throat, speaks a little louder. “Take me home.”

Standing this close to him, Richard can feel Jared swallow. Can feel when Jared says “Ye-yes. I’ll get the others and we can leave. We’ll get you home.”

“No,” he says, too quickly, too desperately. “Don’t get the others. Just you and me. We can order an Uber, go back to the server room…” Richard tries to keep the desperation out of his voice, tries to stay in control. He kisses Jared’s back. He can feel him shudder.

“Richard. You’re drunk.”

“So?”

“You won’t remember in the morning.”

Richard swallows. Jared pulls Richard’s arms off his body, and turns around. He takes a step closer, and places his hand on Richard’s chest, his thumb brushing against Richard’s collar bone. Richard’s hands curl into the bottom of Jared’s shirt. This was what he wanted, what he was trying to get - Jared to admit how he feels. But this…this feels different. It’s less like Jared is admitting it, and more like he knows that Richard has known all along.

He doesn’t realize he’s leaning up until he presses his lips on Jared’s mouth. They feel…well, they feel exactly like Richard imagined they would. Soft. Yielding.

He presses his feet back down and says “I’m not that drunk.”

Jared’s eyes are closed, and his teeth clenched. He seems to take a moment. Then he opens his eyes, more in control, and says “Yes, Richard. You are.” He smiles that quirky, slightly jarring smile of his and says, too cheerfully “You don’t want this. _I_ don’t want this if it’s going to be like this.”

Richard wants to argue, but the guilt is starting to creep in. Jared is standing their, practically admitting how he feels, so put together and in control. Smiling like this is what he expected. Like this is all he’ll ever get from Richard. And Richard can’t say either way if that’s true or not. But he doesn’t want to hurt Jared. Never wanted that. He just _doesn’t know_ what he _does_ want.

“I’m sorry.” Richard doesn’t let go. He feels like a petulant child, caught in the act.

“It’s alright Richard, nothing to be sorry for.” Jared’s smiling, and Richard wants to bury his face in Jared’s shirt.

Jared takes a step back, and Richard’s arms hover awkwardly in the air for a moment, before falling to his side.

“But let’s get out of here, yes? I’ll make sure you get home safely.”

\---

When they get home, Jared wraps his arm around Richard to help him inside. The more the alcohol works its way through him, the less control Richard has over his already awkward body.

First, they go into Richard’s room. They stare at the loft bed for a moment before Jared says “Perhaps you would like to sleep on my bed for the night?” He glances at Richard. “I can take the couch.”

Richard looks up at him. “Can’t we just share?”

Richard’s brain is fuzzy, and he isn’t thinking about earlier; he’s not trying for anything, he’s just _tired_. Jared must be able to tell, because he doesn’t argue with him. Just smiles and says “Of course Richard.”

Jared helps Richard to the garage, and sits him down on his bed. Richard wastes no time removing his pants, but Jared hesitates briefly before removing his own. He methodically unbuttons his button-up, and shrugs it off. He leaves on his undershirt. Richard tilts his head, confused, as Jared plucks up one of his ties, and tightens it around the door handle before closing it.

Jared looks at him a little nervously. “So the guys won’t bother us. You can sneak out in the morning.”

Richard nods, like this makes perfect sense, then scoots over, so that Jared can squeeze in beside him. Immediately after Jared crawls in, Richard’s hands are clenching Jared’s undershirt, and his head is tucked under Jared’s chin. Jared startles at Richards touch, before relaxing, and wrapping his arms around Richard.

It isn’t long before they both nod off to sleep.


	3. Jared and Richard

**Jared**

Jared is a little confused when he wakes up with another person in his bed. But when he looks down at Richard, he remembers the events of the night before. He decides to give himself a moment before he panics - Richard is still sound asleep. He has time.

Richard looks so peaceful and small, his hair a tangled mess. Jared wants to just _pull_ on it. He can feel guilty about that later, but for now it’ll go in his Richard file, right next to “is a cuddler” and “feels more comfortable when gripping onto to something,” like he kept doing last night to Jared’s shirt. He’s still loosely holding on now. Jared’s having a hard time believing that tucked into the back of his file is also “the feeling of Richard’s chapped lips.”

All Jared wants to do is pull him closer - hold him, protect him. But he can’t. Not after last night. Not after he found out that Richard knows how Jared feels about him. After Richard drunkenly _kissed_ him. And Jared - well, Jared should have insisted on sleeping on the couch. If Richard remembers last night, and wakes up with Jared entwined with him? Jared pushes those thoughts from his head. Richard moves next to him, shifting closer to Jared, and oh, he can feel that Richard’s hard. Jared _really_ should have insisted on sleeping on the couch.

Jared likes to think that he’s pretty calm under pressure, but seeing Richard disheveled and vulnerable, Jared is starting to panic. He needs to extract himself from this situation, from Richard.  
  
He can’t decide if he’ll be able to de-tangle himself without waking Richard, but he should try. He lifts his arms away from Richard. Richard, in turn, rolls more onto his stomach, half on top of Jared, trapping him. But Jared isn’t one to give up easily. He reaches down, and starts to untangle Richard’s fingers from his shirt, one by one.

The movement’s a bit too much, a bit too intrusive Jared guesses, and Richard’s fingers clamp down more, as he wakes up. Richard rubs his face against Jared’s shirt, before lifting his head, eyes squinty. He tilts his head, and says, “Oh. Hi.”

**Richard**

Jared’s eyes are huge, his lips a thin line. He looks pale. Terrified. Richard feels his stomach curl. He did that. He made Jared look like that. And Richard hates himself for it.

Richard opens his mouth, to say what, he really isn’t sure, but Jared beats him to it, barely more than a whisper, “I’m sorry.”

Richard furrows his brow. “You, uh, you’re…” He cocks his head to the side. “What?” What does Jared have to be sorry for?

Jared continues to stare up at him, eyes bugging out. “You don’t… You don’t remember last night?”

Richard’s mouth goes dry. “No. I, uh, I remember last night perfectly fine.” It’s this moment when Richard realizes he’s still laying on top of Jared, half hard. He attempts to scramble off Jared, but sits up too quickly, and jabs his knee into Jared’s leg. Jared winces, and grips onto Richard’s arm.

“Sorry. I, uh, shit. I’m sorry,” Richard babbles out.

Jared’s holding onto Richard’s arm, and Richard’s hands are laying flat on Jared’s chest, his legs straddling Jared’s waist.

“I just fuck everything up, don’t I?” Richard asks, peaking up through his eye lashes, and attempting a smile.

He can see Jared swallow, cheeks flushed. “You didn’t fuck anything up Richard.” His voice is bright, and he smiles back, if not a little sadly.

And god damn it. Even here, even now, Jared’s doing what he does best - smoothing over Richard’s mistakes, trying to calm him.

Jared parts his lips, as if he’s going to say something else, when Richard decides, fuck it, and leans down, and kisses Jared.

**Jared**

For a moment, Jared freezes. Then, he gently pushes on Richards chest. Just enough for him to get the picture.

Richard crawls off of Jared. Carefully this time. Calmly. More in control than Richard normally is. It makes Jared’s stomach drop. Richard sits at the edge of his bed, and rubs his face in his hands.

“Richard.” Jared says.

Richard doesn’t look back at him. He just stands up, and looks for his pants.

“Richard,” Jared tries to explain, “You’re not into guys.”

Richard stops, his back still turned, and laughs bitterly. He mutters, “I think we can both agree that that is no longer 100% true.”

“Just because you kissed me when you were drunk-”

“That’s not why.” Richard snaps.

“Then why Richard? You’ve never shown any indication in being interested in men before.” Unless those moments that Jared thought he’d been misconstruing had actually been interest… Jared swallows. “You were hurt, you had just broken up with Winnie-”

Richard spins around. “That has nothing to do with it Jared! What I’m doing, how I feel, that has nothing to do with Winnie.”

Richard comes back over, and sits on the edge of Jared’s bed again, tucking one leg under him.

“I just, I… I don’t know, okay? But I know that how I feel about you…isn’t really just a friend like feeling.” Richard won’t look him in the eye, instead concentrating on gripping Jared’s bed sheet, rubbing it between his fingers. “Maybe I haven’t quite…figured everything out yet, but that doesn’t mean that… That doesn’t mean that I don’t…” Richard finally looks up, straight into Jared's eyes. “I like you Jared.”

Jared’s heart is beating too fast. “Richard, I don’t think you do. You know how I feel about you. You… I think you just want to like me. That maybe, you’re trying to do me a favor.”

**Richard**

Jared’s words are a little too close to how Richard was feeling last night; wanting Jared to want him, but not knowing what he would do with that. But sitting here, on Jared’s bed, Richard wants to kiss him. And muddled away in all his other feelings, that one’s true. It’s real.

“Jared, I’m not that cruel.”

Jared frowns. “That’s not what I meant. I don’t…I don’t think you know you’re doing it.”

Richard looks away. Anywhere but at Jared. “This isn’t something I just made up in my head when I was drunk, okay? I’ve been thinking about this for a while.” Even if he's been having a hard time admitting it to himself, Richard knows it's true. And, he adds in his head, it's not like Jared's the first guy he's thought about. He's a little too embarrassed to say that part out loud though - yet. One thing at a time.

Jared blinks repeatedly. “How long?”

Richard looks back at Jared, brow furrowed. “W-what?”

Jared shakes his head slightly. “Sorry. How long have you been thinking about me?”

If it were anyone else, Richard would think that Jared was testing him, or flirting with him. Looking for the shiny version of his answer. But with Jared, he thinks he’s just trying to piece it all together. Richard isn’t quite sure what to tell him. So he goes with the truth.

“I, uh. I don’t know.” Richard swallows, and looks down, concentrating on picking at Jared’s sheets. But Jared is patient, always so patient, and waits. “I don’t-” Richard looks up at the ceiling, trying to find his words. “I didn’t realize what it was until, uh, until you brought Carol home.” Then he kind of does a half shake of his head. “No, shit, that…that’s not really right. It was - I started to really put it together after I got CEO back. After you tried to hug me?" Richard’s squeezed his eyes shut, his face flushed. He rushes the next part. He doesn’t want Jared to interrupt before he has a chance to get it all out. “It terrified me. That's why...that's why I shied away. Why I started talking to Winnie. I...I buried them. Those feelings. I didn't...I didn't know what to do with them." Richard pulls in a ragged breath. "But it started before that. At least since I lost CEO. Maybe even further back. I thought…well, I thought that I just needed someone like you for the company. But somewhere it… Well, somewhere it changed.” Richard eyes flicker towards Jared, before flitting back around the room. “I know that’s probably not what you want to hear. That I can’t…that I haven’t really…figured it all out. How I feel. But I know that I do feel something _more_.” Richard takes a shaky breath, and finally looks Jared in the eyes. “Jared. I really want to kiss you.”

**Jared**

Jared isn’t sure what to do with this. He can tell that Richard believes his own words, and maybe Jared shouldn't, but he believes them too. The anxiety exuding from Richard is really all the proof he needs. 

Jared scoots forward, and pulls Richard’s hands away from the bed sheet. Cupping them in his own.

“Richard, hey. It’s okay.” Richard nods. His hands are a little shaky in Jared’s. Jared’s sure that he could find other ways to calm Richard down if he wanted to, but why should he? He wants this so badly, and Richard does too. They should probably talk more. But what else is there to say? So Jared lets go of one of Richard’s hands, and reaches up to cup Richard’s face. His lips are slightly parted, his blue eyes wide. Jared leans over and kisses him. Let’s go of Richard’s other hand, and tangles them both in Richard’s hair and tugs. Richard lets out a soft gasp, and then his face flushes. Richard puts his arms around Jared, gripping onto the back of his shirt. Jared pushes Richard over, crawling on top of him, pressing a knee between Richard’s leg. Richard moans out “Jared,” and pulls Jared as close as he can. Jared loves the sound of his name coming out of Richard’s mouth.

He’s really glad he put that tie on his door last night.

**Richard**

Richard had expected to be nervous about the fact that Jared was a man, but he isn’t. It doesn’t really matter - Jared is just Jared, with his long fingers pressing into his back, his soft mouth kissing down his body.

Richard is scared that he’ll hurt Jared. That he'll fuck it all up. He hasn’t done this before - dating a man. He hasn’t really done it with a women in a long time either. And even then, his relationships never lasted long. He isn’t careful, like Jared. He doesn’t know how to put others first. But he can learn. And he thinks, for Jared, that he wants to. He can sort out his feelings, and still be with Jared.

Richard looks at the clock, it’s a quarter after noon. “Do you think the guys know what we’re doing in here?”

Jared tucks his head into Richard’s neck, and chuckles. “I don’t care, do you?” Then he bites down, softly, on the junction of his neck.

“Fuck, Jared.”

Richard decides that he really doesn’t.


End file.
